White Flag

Some days the stars just burn out,
and I don't know if I'll get to see them shine again

Sometimes the water rises so high,
and there's no air to breathe

Sometimes the world goes dark,
And light is only a memory

My hands feel bound,
My legs feel lame
My stomach is inside out
My body weighs five tons
My mind does all the self-harm anyone ever needs

I've never used a blade
I've never gone that "one step too far"

I've only rarely wished I was dead,
Yet quite often I've wished I was never born; nobody hurts that way.

Everything is worthless
Encouraging words feel like jabs
Every friend, hearts welled with worry
Feels like someone I'm letting down
Again.

Some days are easier than others,
But no day shines as bright as the world of innocence
The cloud looms overhead even in the brightest of time
If I don't seem to see it, I still fear it

The fear never goes.
The fear never leaves.
The fear is a part of me.
There is no removing the fear.

The fear is not a weight, not a cage, but an iron maiden, and the doors are closed.
There is no escape. It's not about if things go wrong, it's bracing for when.
And when they do, I only prove myself right
Again.

Some people just weren't born to be happy.
They just learn to smile regardless.

Some just live in fear.
They just put forth a façade of strength.

For some there is no escape.
For some there is no relief.
Am I one who falls victim to these bonds??

I don't know, but times like these,
It sure does feel like it,
Again.